Neptune Leaves Her Copy of Knights of Barcelona in the Nepstation Plus
by Shoe Daddy
Summary: And immediately starts regretting that decision.
1. Chapter 1

The hot summer sun shone down on the streets of Barcelona. Children played in the streets, merchants tended to their shops, and that one trumpet player strutted his stuff on the less admirable corner of Sexto y Noveno. All endearing sights to the average bystanders, but such pleasantries were beyond the concerns of the stern, nondescript young man, wearing a coat far too heavy for the current weather, as he made his way through the Old District. The better years of his life in this town were behind him, and unless this meeting went without a hitch, he would have no future to look forward to.

He checked again through the directions he had received from his informant. They were pretty hard to read, considering they were written on a dirty napkin, but the final direction definitely said to meet in the alley next to the mural of the dancing lizards. He turned down the alley, his grip on his briefcase tightening in case something went wrong. At the end, another nondescript figure with a technicolor scarf awaited him, but to each other, they were all too familiar to be merely 'nondescript.'

"Angelo?" The one with the briefcase called out first.

Hearing his name, the one with the scarf let out a hearty chuckle.

"Well, I certainly wasn't expecting _you_ to be making this delivery, Roy! 'S so good to see you, chico. Qué pasa?" Angelo reached out to pat his old friend on the shoulder, only to be shrugged off by the brooding Roy.

"You know exactly qué pasa, my next year's tuition is due in three weeks, and unless I make ends meet, I'll have to drop out."

"Ah, that's right. I remember you making a huge deal about getting accepted to the university. What is it you've been studying there? Suppose it doesn't really matter, you're boned in this town without a degree, less you want to go into our line of trade full time…"

Roy could only strengthen his glare at Angelo's proposition. Just being there right then felt all kinds of wrong, but he knew he wasn't in any position to decline such easy money. He held up the briefcase and unceremoniously plopped it into Angelo's arms.

"I can see you wanna get this over with. I don't blame ya, you were always a good kid, better than me, at least. Let's see what we got here." Angelo pried the case open, eager to look upon his bounty, only to feel his eager face slip away to deadpan. "What are these?" He turned the case towards Roy so that he could see.

"It's… they're peppers…" Roy said in confusion. He hadn't actually been told what he was delivering, only that it was a 'spice trade.'

"No, they're peppers from Seville," Angelo clarified in an increasingly abrasive tone, "I had been told these were going to be peppers from San Salvador! Nobody wants to season their food with domestic peppers, they want exotic flavors! You'd better take these worthless-ass peppers back to the jack who gave them to you!" his voiced escalated to about seventy-nine decibels as he tried to shove the case back into Roy's hands.

"Now hang on a minute!" Roy objected, denying the passage of the case, "I was only told to bring you the case, nothing else. Now, you'd better have my money for me, 'cause I'm not doing any more of your bullshit." Just then, Roy felt himself pinned to the wall by what he thought was his old friend.

"Like I said, chico, you're a good kid…" Angelo hissed menacingly into Roy's ear as he pulled out a switchblade, "but I'm not…"

Roy didn't hesitate to sucker punch Angelo straight to the other side of the alley. Deciding enough was enough, he bolted back out into the street. Angelo followed close behind him, but they didn't make it fifty feet down the street before they both stopped in shock and awe at the horde off in the distance.

Bulls. Dozens of them, all headed their way.

* * *

"Aww, dangit! Why'd the Running of the Bulls event have to start now, of all times? This festival doesn't even happen in Barcelona!"

Neptune's cries of frustration echoed through her lounge as she maneuvered Roy away from the savage bull stampede. She had been playing _Knights of Barcelona_ all morning, and certainly wasn't going to reload a save from an hour ago just because of a poorly timed event. A few well-timed parkour maneuvers, and…

"Phew… I'm safe now!"

Feeling herself lulling into a sense of security, Neptune immediately perked up at the realization of how loud she had been shouting. She saved her game as fast as she could, then did a quick check of all the room's perimeters. The doors were locked tight, the window blinds were down, the closet was open and empty…

"Just try to relax, Nep," she thought to herself, "there's nothing wrong with enjoying these kinda games. One day, I'll just be talking with one of my buddies, and I'll say-"

"Neptune, may I come in?" Histoire's voice rang from outside the room.

"Snappy snap…" Neptune muttered under her breath, cursed by the worst timing imaginable. "J-just a sec, Histy!" she yelled out to her Oracle in the midst of her rush to turn the game off.

"Unfortunately, I cannot wait a single second more. I left my favorite bookmark in there, and you know how I feel when I try to fly around without it."

Neptune couldn't help but snicker at Histoire's little problem; she suddenly felt just a little less ashamed of her own secret. "I dunno, Histy. You've been waiting several more seconds already, but you still seem pretty okayish!"

"Well, Neptune," Histoire's normally serene voice began to grow a bit more volatile, "if that is how you intend to speak to me, then I shall only give you three seconds more before I use my master key on this door."

"Snappy snap again…" Neptune muttered. Able to open any locked door in the Neptower, that dreaded key had ended many of her veggin' sessions before, and now it was about to expose her to the world (or at least Histy). She really needed to focus now; both the TV and the Nepstation Plus were turned off, now all that was left to do was eject the game disc and-

Wait, that wouldn't do. Leaving the disc in the console was certainly a risky move, but it would take far too long to dig up her stash of _those_ games, put it back in its box, and hide the stash again. Histy would almost certainly catch her in the act, especially considering how many precious milliseconds she had wasted analyzing her plan of action, leaving the disc was probably the better of the two options. She cut her losses and made a dash for her desk.

As if right on cue, the door opened, and Histoire hovered into the room. She made her way to Neptune's desk to pick up her bookmark, when she noticed that Neptune was poorly pretending to be engrossed in paperwork.

"Neptune, what exactly are you trying to do?" Histoire asked in disbelief.

"Huh? Oh, you know, just trying to knock some of this paperwork out of the way so you don't nag me about it later, hehe…" Neptune halfheartedly attempted to explain herself, but Histoire certainly wasn't buying it.

"Alright, what are you trying to avoid?"

"What'dya mean?"

"Just listen to yourself right now. You would _never_ do your paperwork of your own volition unless there was something else you were trying to avoid."

"Y'know, Histy," Neptune began in a mock-offended tone, "sometimes I get the feeling you don't think I do my work good…"

At that point, Histoire could do nothing but stare unamused at the CPU as she continued to dig herself deeper. Neptune, feeling the tension growing thick enough to eat off of, tried to quickly improvise an excuse to get out of the Basilicom.

"Oh c'mon, Histy, you know how these intro chapters go! I'm goofing off, you get mad at me for not doing my work, then you send me off on a basic quest so I can build my level and shares back up, because I guess the writers think it's funny for me to have to start at square one every time a new story begins. We've done this whole routine, like, five or six times now, so I figured I might as well cut to the chase. What's this? A quest to go bust up some dogoos in Virtua Forest? Don't mind if I don't! Er, y'know what I mean, I'll be back in an hour!"

And with that, Neptune ran out to the balcony in the adjacent room and flew off into the horizon, leaving Histoire to clean up the mess her CPU had left behind.

"Of course, she forgets to clean up after herself," Histoire began to rant to herself as she picked up the snack wrappers littered on the floor. "One step at a time, I suppose… though I still do not believe that she truly wanted to go out on that quest," she began to think some more about how unnerved Neptune had been acting. Normally at that time of day, Neptune would be engrossed in one of her video games. That thought reminded Histoire, she would need to go over to the Nepstation Plus, assuming that Neptune once again forgot to-

"Huh?" Histoire couldn't believe what she had seen: the disc slot on the Nepstation Plus was shut tight. Neptune was never one to forget to put her games away in their boxes, but she would always forget to close the lid on the disc slot. Histoire had reprimanded her for that many times before, always explaining how it exposed the disc reader to dust; Histoire still wasn't sure why Neptune had bothered designing the console that way if she wasn't going to use it correctly. Nevertheless, Histoire's curiosity had been piqued at this sudden change in behavior, and she couldn't help but investigate. She opened up the slot to find…

" _Knights of Barcelona_? I do not recall ever seeing Neptune play this game, or that she even owned it." Histoire wondered what this mysterious game was. She had considered searching through her tome's database on Planeptune games to learn more about it, but she didn't feel like waiting three hours to find any results when she could simply turn the game on and see for herself. She booted up the Nepstation Plus, and launched the game on the menu screen.

Histoire nearly lost her levitation when she saw the game start up. Those graphics, that interface, that control scheme! She needed to find the box to this game immediately. She dug all through Neptune's game shelf searching for any boxes with the game's title on them, but to no avail. She scanned all over the floor looking for any stray game boxes, but also to no avail. Banging in frustration on the bookshelf, located conveniently next to the game shelf, she noticed a number of books had fallen off the bottom shelf. They must have been sitting very loosely on the shelf to have fallen off so easily. Histoire went down to examine the scene of the fallen books, when she noticed an unlabeled cardboard box sitting at the back of that bottom shelf.

"Of course, the one place nobody would check for games…" Histoire was somewhat impressed that Neptune had chosen a clever hiding place for a game box, but now was a bit too urgent to dwell on that thought. She opened the box, and indeed found the case for _Knights of Barcelona_ … along with a dozen other game cases. _Terminal Six_ , _Parade Simulator_ … this was much worse than Histoire had anticipated. Feeling the stress pile up from this revelation, she did the only thing she could think to do: talk to someone else about it.

* * *

Nepgear had been in her workshop all morning, drawing out the schematics for her latest invention concept: an automatic guard rail for bookshelves, one that could catch books if it sensed they were falling off their shelves. She was just finishing up the last measurements for her first prototype, when Histoire came flying frantically into the room.

"Ne… Nep… gear…" Histoire panted, completely out breath despite flying requiring very little energy on her part.

"W-what's wrong, Histoire?! Did something terrible happen?" Nepgear hurriedly got up from her bench, unable to help but show concern at the first sign of her Oracle's distress.

"No… well, maybe… it is about Neptune…"

Hearing her sister's name only multiplied Nepgear's concern. "Oh no, oh no… what's happened to her?!"

"Nothing has happened to her, per se, but…" Histoire tried to find a way to put it lightly, but she grew tired of holding back and simply let the truth out:

"She is a fan of real world games!"

Hearing Histoire's revelation, Nepgear was immediately relieved that Neptune wasn't in any danger, but at the same time…

"Um… I already knew that, Histoire…"

Histoire couldn't believe what she was hearing. Not only was Neptune into real world games, but somehow Nepgear was in on it?! She could barely form a coherent sentence as she tried to process what was going on.

"What? When? How?" she finally managed to sputter out.

"Well…" Nepgear was a bit embarrassed having to explain herself on the spot, "it was a few weeks ago. I had wanted to spend the afternoon playing with Neptune, but she just wanted to play by herself, all alone in that lounge. I was feeling really hurt, since she wouldn't even tell me why she didn't want me in there with her, so I… kinda… hid in the closet when she had gone to use the bathroom. I saw… a lot of weird things she had been playing…" She felt her cheeks flush up as she confessed to her actions. "Oh, I'm really sorry for peeping on her! I never did it again, and I never told anyone else until now!"

"It is alright, Nepgear," Histoire reassured Nepgear, though she was bit surprised to hear Nepgear had been peeping on someone. "That is actually very good of you to have not told anyone about this, and very important, too. Do you know why?"

"Not really. I just figured that if she didn't want me knowing she played those games, she wouldn't want other people to know either."

"It is far more serious than that," Histoire began to explain, "Real world games are one of the biggest social taboos in all of Gamindustri. Not one person who has partaken of this subgenre has avoided the social desolation that comes with them. Workers have lost their jobs, lovers have lost their loves… If word got out that Neptune played these sort of games, her reputation as a CPU would be tarnished forever."

"Goodness, I wouldn't want that to happen to her…" Nepgear started to see the severity of Neptune's secret interest. She couldn't imagine Neptune losing her social status and becoming a recluse, though then she would be able to spend a lot more time with her… "No," Nepgear thought, "I mustn't think such selfish thoughts…"

"Then for Neptune's sake, we must make it our responsibility to ensure that nobody else ever finds out!"


	2. Death Solves Nothing in a World of Roast

You know the old saying 'two can only keep a secret if one of them is dead?' Yeah, that's pretty much what's going on right now.

The sounds of derisive laughter echoed through Neptune's lounge as Noire and Blanc watched Vert play _Knights of Barcelona_ , the latter making Roy kill himself in humiliating ways like jumping off roofs or getting into fistfights with armed cops. Smug ecstasy coursed through the three CPUs' minds at the revelation that their peer was into real world games, and they fully intended to milk it out for the foreseeable future. Off to side, Ram, Rom, and Uni watched silently, occasionally sharing glances of curious confusion. Not for one single moment did they comprehend why their sisters (and Vert) were making such a big deal about the game they were playing. Lastly, further off to the side of the Candidates, Nepgear and Histoire watched in devastated awe at the scene before them. Only two things were on their mind: what would happen to Neptune when she got home, and which of the two should have died.

"What is WRONG with us?!" Nepgear exclaimed, unable to find any better words to express her disappointment in herself for failing to keep Neptune's secret. "How long has it even been since we had that talk?"

"Approximately half an hour…" Histoire responded immediately, needing no time at all to procure the measurement of time.

"Wow, really? I feel like it's been a _lot_ longer than that…"

As if she knew a fourth wall joke was taking place, Neptune suddenly entered the lounge, toting a large bag filled with bottles of Dogoo jelly.

"Heya guys, I'm back! Man, that quest was a real chore… it feels like it took me more than a month to complete it," Neptune attempted to chat up with Nepgear and Histoire, only to be greeted with their wracked expressions. "What, too on the nose?"

Hearing the sound of cackles coming from her fellow CPUs, Neptune turned her gaze to see what they were doing at her place, only to drop her bag when she saw what was on the TV. The normally talkative girl fell deathly silent as she approached the couch that the trio was sitting upon. She could do nothing but babble incoherent phrases as she rapidly looked back and forth between the television and the CPUs, who were now greeting her with the smuggest grins imaginable. Yes, even smugger than those game screenshots that people love to use in their meme pictures.

"Oh, Neptune," Noire began in a tone that feigned ignorance, "I didn't know you were home. So how have you been lately? Are you keeping it… _real_?"

Upon hearing Noire say that last word, the three CPUs burst into another fit of hysterical laughter. Hearing them laugh, knowing they were laughing at _her_ , made Neptune's brow quiver something fierce. Soon, the laughter died down, and Noire began to speak again…

"…but seriously, I never expected YOU, of all people, to be a realboo…"

That wretched term was more than enough to get Neptune to finally speak up.

"A-a-a… a REALBOO?! No, nonono. You don't do that, nuh-uh, you don't get to make jabs at me like that. That's MY thing, MINE, that I do to YOU!"

"Well, you kind of had it coming, call it poetic justice if you will," Blanc chimed in, "I mean, look at this tripe. Real world games? Really?"

"There is NOTHING wrong with liking real world games!"

"Sure, if you like running around boring cityscapes doing mundane tasks over and over. I can think of, maybe, two games on my console that are like that, but at least they're easy on the eyes, unlike this gritty, grainy mess right here," Blanc then proceeded to gesture to the screen, where Vert was making Roy roll around in a wheat field.

"Before you continue, Blanc," her buxom foil began, "I would like to say that there is nothing wrong with striving for graphical fidelity in games. The mechanics and subject matter, on the other hand, are… uninspired to say the least," She paused the game and turned her attention to Neptune, whose face was flushed with a color redder than… well, Red. "Honestly, Neptune. With your energetic personality, I am quite surprised that you enjoy such trivial pursuits. Oh well, I guess you never really know a girl-"

"STOPPIT!"

At the sound of the purple-and-red girl's cry, the three CPUs reeled back in shock.

"I don't know who found out first or why the second person who found out didn't die, but that's not important right now! All I wanted when I got up this morning was to trade some spice with Angelo and pay off my tuition, but **YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU…** " Neptune shot her finger towards Histoire, who was worried that she was angry enough that bullets would come flying out of it, "had to ruin everything with your little Master Key, all like ' _Oh Neptune, you fat lazy goddess, open up so I can get my bookmark for my tight butthole…_ ' and before I know it, I come home to some of my bestest buddies laughing in my face! I didn't sign up for this sort of treatment when I took this role in this franchise! And now my life as a carefree matriarch is **OVER! DONE! KAPUT!** Now I'll have to move to the countryside, dye my hair, change my name, and get a crappy day job! Something like, I dunno…"

" _Real_ estate?"

Hearing yet another of Noire's epic puns, the trio of hecklers once again burst into laughter. Neptune, unable to hold back her tears any longer, ran out of the room. Concerned for her wellbeing and filled with guilt, Nepgear and Histoire ran after her. The Candidates, seeing how hurt Neptune was, followed shortly after.

* * *

The sounds of clutter being flung about filled the air as the five approached Neptune's bedroom, hoping to work things out with her. There wasn't any crying, so that was a good start, right? Maybe? I don't know. They slowly entered the room, one by one, making sure not to cause too much of a disruption. Off in the corner, Neptune was rummaging through a box of old trinkets and accessories, her head hung low as though we was ashamed simply to be alive. Nepgear wasn't sure what to say, but she knew that she couldn't just leave Neptune be right then, and so she stepped forward…

"S-sis? Are you, um… alright?" Nepgear wasn't sure why she bothered saying that when she already knew the answer, but Neptune didn't give her the luxury to reflect on that.

"Oh, I'm just fine, just **peachy** , kiddo… I mean, I've just had my pride and innocence scattered to the wind, is all!"

"I don't think she's fine…" Rom's comment was glaringly obvious, but at the same time, the Candidates and Histoire were glad she said it. Any and all inhibition about confronting this issue had been shattered by that comment. Now they were certain they had to set things right.

"Listen, sis, I…"

"I'm done, Nepgear, I am so freaking done," Neptune cut her off, "they finally did it, the absolute madmen! They finally found a way to make me give up on enjoying life, because how can I go back out there, knowing that those jersey devils can hold me to this forever? And don't pretend they'll just let it go over time. They won't. I can see it in their hearts, I can hear it in their bones. They've been waiting for this, the iron grip with which they can get back at me for all the times I've poked them in the proverbial guts. I thought I'd be ready for this, but I was wrong. I was so, so wrong. And so I've decided I can no longer bear the burden of living in this unforgiving world, and I intend to make my departure swiftly, and with great haste."

"You're leaving Gamindustri?!" Ram yelped in shock.

"No, she means she's gonna kill herself."

Realizing what Uni just said, all five of them yelped out this time.

" **YOU'RE GONNA KILL YOURSELF?!** "

"That's right!" Neptune confirmed, with great determination, "and I'll do it with thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis!"

Turning around, she showed the other five what she had been looking for in that box: a long string of beads left over from that one Mardi Gras party. Fastening one end in a firm knot around her neck, she took the other end in her hand and looked up to the ceiling.

"…Histy, where's the ceiling fan?"

"You do not have a ceiling fan. You hated the idea of getting up to turn it on and off, and requested a portable fan instead, remember?"

"Well then where am I supposed to hang from?!"

"Maybe **don't?** " Uni remarked in a tone that wasn't sure if she was genuinely worried, or thought that Neptune's ideas for suicide were too stupid to work, "That scrawny string wouldn't be able to support your body anyway."

"This might be a sign, Sis!" Nepgear tried to instill some hope in her sister, "A sign that you should keep living, and-"

"No way, busters!" Neptune insisted, snapping the string off her neck in a quick yank, "If this won't work, then I'll just jump out the window! Yeah, give the street cleaners the trouble of having to scrape my corpse off the ground…"

"You have survived falls from points much higher than even the highest point of this tower," Histoire reminded her of the franchise's trend to have Neptune fall from great heights, "a fall from here would barely cause you any discomfort."

Neptune gave a disgruntled pout, her options to take the easy way out slowly dwindling.

"Very well, then it seems I have no choice but to take the _poetic_ route…"

As Neptune twirled across the room, the five exchanged confused looks, none of them sure just what the hell she was talking about. Poetic route?

Looking back at her, Neptune had now flung herself onto her desk, leaning face up into the light in the most dramatic posed she could think of. She snapped open her mini-jacket, reach for the top of her dress, and… drew an X on her still-clothed chest, using a black marker she found on the desk. Beckoning Nepgear over to her, she placed the marker in her sister's hand, clasping it with both of her own.

"W-what are you-"

"Shh… no words, no tears… There is only death for me now. We all knew it was going to be you…"

She positioned Nepgear's hand over her X, getting her sister's hand ready to strike with the full force of the marker…

"So do it! Pierce me, Nep Jr! Pierce me **blackened heart**!"

Nepgear's hand quivered, and her brow sweat profusely as her sister's death wish rung in her ears. All she had to do was bring the marker down upon her chest, and the deed would be done. This is what Neptune wanted, but, but…

"NO!"

She threw the marker to the ground. She couldn't do it, she couldn't take her sister's life. She fell over onto Neptune's tired old body, and the two entered a warm embrace as tears flowed from their eyes.

"Neptune!"

"Nepgear!"

"You do realize that was a blunt marker, right?" Uni asked, baffled at the scene they were making. Unfortunately for her, the twins of Lowee were unironically moved to tears by the scene, and so they went up to the Planeptune sisters to show their support.

"Please don't die, Miss Neptune… we'd all miss you much!"

"Yeah, and you totally don't deserve to be made fun of like they did!"

"You guys really think so?" Neptune sniffled as Nepgear helped her up from the desk.

"Of course," Uni affirmed, "giving someone crap about the type of games they like is something no good friend should ever do. Just look at us! We might get a little competitive, or be hesitant when we introduce each other to weird new games, but we never make fun of each other over it, so why should our sisters get to make fun of you?!"

"Because," Histoire began, "real world games are one of the biggest social taboos-"

"Who cares?!" Ram exclaimed, "Our sisters have done way dumber stuff than play some weird real games!"

"Like what?" Neptune asked feeling defeated, "Cosplay? Write fanfics? Read gaybooks? Please, I've brought it all up to them before, they're not gonna-"

"But what about the things you _don't_ know about?"

Hearing Uni's question, Neptune felt the inquisitive side of her mind pipe up.

"Tell me more…"


End file.
